through the glass
Nov. 28th, 2009 | 09:15 pm
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
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meheh
Nov. 28th, 2009 | 06:58 pm
musique: DOWN
nomizw molis egine enas mikros seismos
[18:56:03] pretty hate machine says:
den 3erw, akouw dynata Down
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(no subject)
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 10:43 pm
screw that forget about that I dont wanna think about anything like that screw that forget about that I dont wanna know about anything like that. I got nothing to do but hang around and get screwed up on you.
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a noise, severe.
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 10:18 pm
I feel it slip
Slip away
From my hands
All the way
My heart pounds like mad
I feel it slip
Slip away
Why am I?
Why am I here?
So distant from
My old life
My heart feels so sad
What am I doing here?
You see
I'm riding endlessly
What will become of me
This higher power knows
You see
I'm waiting patiently
And what this means to me
Nobody ever knows
You see
In all the warmth I feel
Is this the end of me?
Only I should know
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stitsakis
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 09:40 pm
musique: skarhead
D.F.F. dog
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feeling weird.
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 07:02 pm
& it's all because of iron & industrial byproducts.
I feel like going out & drinking so so much tonight.
& I will.
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m + t = pnd / bucharest old tree trunk
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 01:53 am
musique: ben folds - tiny dancer
Bucharest was the last place I ever saw her. It had been so many years in between, we had changed so much yet we were the exact same people we used to be back then. That summer did change my life in ways I am not able to describe. I don't talk about her because I miss her so much, I always have and always will. She understood me. We kept in touch even after I left Los Angeles but it was too painful for the both of us to be able to talk but not touch and to be there but not really.
Bucharest just happened, I did not plan for it to happen anyway. It was a sg unofficial meeting and she happened to be in Europe, that was so typical of her. She just happened to be there. I mean, I knew she was coming & I knew I was going, but it is not like we planned this trip to meet. Back in LA, she just happened to be in the concert (her friends had dragged her) and I just happened to bump into her.
She was waiting for me at the train station, all wrapped up in so many layers of clothes I could only see her nose, which was bright red. It was that cold. I could tell she was happy to see me, genuinely happy.
Five awesome days, the rest of the people hardly saw us, we were walking, over ever-so-long bridges and in abandoned houses and we drank hot coffee in empty squares. She just wouldn't shut up, she kept talking & I listened & I kept talking & she listened. We waited outside a coffee shop, it was closed until 9, and it was snowing. But when we got inside she said "see? it's not any warmer than it was out". She's random like that. She used to have a mohawk & she had bright pink her then, but still, she'd say things you'd never expect her to even think of. It was coffee, then hot chocolate then beer & gin. & Jack Daniels. & again, from the top.
We used to say that we look like angry chicks, but what do they know about it. & why should we give a fuck they see us that way. It's what we wanna do.
At the airport, she asked me to stay, she begged me to stay, to go back with her and she said she'd take care of me although I didnt need anybody to take care of me but still she would 'cause she just liked to do it. We promised we'd find eachother again, it's just that I don't really believe it anymore. She said she liked the way I turned out to be & the 'way' I grew up, she said it like she meant she's happy I grew boobs or something, that I am hotter now. Heh, typical, she'd say the sweetest stuff & then make some sort of inappropriate comment, to even it all out. To make sure the world doesn't see she's all sweet inside, she's badass you know. I realised today that my current "crush" is just like her, only the male version & I'm starting to believe I am looking for her in all the wrong places. & wrong people.
She said "us. we. it feels nice & fuzzy" and truth is I still don't know why I got on that plane and got home, this does not feel like home, at least most of the times. It really doesn't.
& yes it was probably the worst flight ever. It was, at least, the saddest.
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crime & cognition
Nov. 26th, 2009 | 05:48 pm
Foglia, W.D. "Adding an Explicit Focus on Cognition to Criminological Theory", ch. 10, pp105.
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(no subject)
Nov. 26th, 2009 | 04:06 am
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patra.
Nov. 25th, 2009 | 01:09 am
musique: the cure - faith
I went away alone,
with nothing left,
but faith
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ball & chain
Nov. 20th, 2009 | 05:00 pm
but not go anywhere..
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haheh
Nov. 19th, 2009 | 09:49 am
musique: pixies - debaser
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on repeat
Nov. 17th, 2009 | 08:47 am
musique: mike ness
Mike Ness - Don't think twice
Rancid - You don't care nothing
Rancid - Lock, step & gone
Horrorpops - Undefeated
Horrorpops - Thelma & Louise
Volbeat - radio girl
Garbage - Why do you love me
Hole - Celebrity Skin
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more hours in the day please
Nov. 17th, 2009 | 07:55 am
iam: scheduling
musique: greek season 3 episode 1
Alright. Here goes. I need more hours in the day.
I do not have enough time to study. Turns out postgraduate studies take up so much time, there's so much material involved. My first module (due January) has 6 units. All together is 180 pages, but each unit (6 alltogether) has at least 7 extra journal articles. Then there's at least 2 books I need to thoroughly read and 300 pages of notes on Research, along with another 2 gigantic books. All due January. I'm going crazy here. I need to work out a study plan, otherwise I'll fail the first module. & that I cannot have.
I am seriously going to lay out a study plan, timetables and all that crap. (yay for OCD)
Did I mention that it is almost mandatory that I find extra material and study it by myself?
OOOh, and of course there is the Crime Rate Statistics which look like matrix-the-movie graphics & honestly, statistics and I, hate eachother since undergraduate school.
I don't see this relationship getting any better any time soon.
FUCK YOU LEICESTER UNIVERSITY. FUCK YOU.
moving on.
I was thinking of going to the gym (yes yes me, gym, gah) & I also have a "social" life to maintain, along with my internet (& tv-series & movies) addiction & then there is everyday stuff like walking my dog and running errands and sleeping. Yup, sleeping is now considered as time-consuming and something that needs to be done in order to get the rest of stuff done.
Which leaves me with 2 options. Either I demand they make days longer, 36-hours-days will probably do, OR I make a really smart, amazing, awesome timetable and STICK TO IT like my life depends on it, which it actually does. Also, the days I go out and get smashed need to be cut down because it involves not only the time I am actually out drinking but also the next day which I need in order to get over my hangover. I am also going to get a subscription to Starbucks or something (or at least I will get a card) because for some reason my mind associates Starbucks' caffeine with studying (blame college which had Starbucks in the building) & Nescafe won't do the trick. Unless there's a Starbucks cup on my table, I don't study. The end.
FUCK YOU 24-HOURS-DAY. FUCK YOU.
& goodmorning.
:D
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james' party
Nov. 16th, 2009 | 01:09 pm
musique: sentenced.
l to r: Christianna, Melanie, me.
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wasting time on mirror cabinets.
Nov. 14th, 2009 | 01:12 pm
musique: marilyn manson - arma goddamn motherfuckin geddon
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heh
Nov. 11th, 2009 | 06:16 am
& it was nice.
:)
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blueribbandblues
Nov. 10th, 2009 | 05:09 am
But it's alright, it's alright.
Today is the tomorrow that I dreamed about last night,
So shine a light, shine a light, but I...
Just wanna feel what I felt before, but I
I want you to know that I need it more.
Well the blind lead the blind
Are the saints still alive since the last time?
At the end of the line
Was I cruel to be kind in a past life?
Sharpen up your knives.
Every day I chip at stone while you are on your way,
Up to the stars, up to the stars.
I don't know where I'm going to,
I don't know where you are,
But it's a start, but it's a start, and I'm...
Just gonna say what I, said before but I,
I want you to know that I need it more.
Well the blind lead the blind
Are the saints still alive since the last time?
And I don't wanna stay,
Don't wanna go away in a past life.
It's not alright
I've given up on horses hooves,
And I'm feelin more,
Than just blue ribband blues.
And his advice,
Before I dropped
Was be sincere,
Whether you mean it or not,
It's alright.
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mmm..
Nov. 6th, 2009 | 02:34 am
musique: volbeat
broken by heartache but driven by her sound.
I'm still standing.
:)